A true Second-Waver
This week, I was given the chance to learn about the life of an incredible woman whose life experiences I may never have understood or appreciated with enough respect, if it were not for this assignment or this class. Her name is Sharon Dreyfuss and she was born in 1959. She grew up in
After college,
While in this women studies introductory course, I have noticed that it seems to be that feminism is a topic among Americans, the British and what seems to be western society. Even though recently, with the third wave of feminism and through internet resources such as blogs, feminism ideas have spread to many countries that it might not have reached, feminism is still centralized through western society. When other countries are brought up outside of the western hemisphere, in such places like
When deciding who to interview I took a look at who I thought would not give me the typical American story on feminism. I chose my mother. I thought it would be interesting to do an interview with my mother, not because only because she is outside of my age bracket, but because even though we are the same race, ethnicity, and social class, we both have had very different backgrounds growing up and we differ on my political and social beliefs. I believed she would give me interesting insight as to what she thinks on feminism, the differences between her ideas and ideas of other Americans, and how
My mother, Victoria Itebe, grew up in
Women working outside of the home has been one of the biggest feminist issues in the mainstream
Though I wouldn’t believe so by the answers
After the interview with my mother, I see how much her upbringing and culture has had an influence on her outlook on women in general. Just like the rest of the women in the world that have just begun to fight for their rights with much help form the United States, they did not even know they were being “oppressed” until it was placed right in front of their face, even if they didn’t like the way they were being treated. After moving here, my mother experienced written legislation that was guaranteed to her, and though she says she does not believe women back in
Evon Willams
7 March 2008
Island Life Isn’t So Breezy
As she described a time when gender issues were rarely discussed, children frolicked in the sun freely, and women “knew their place,” I listen intently as she conveys the dynamics of life in
According to wikipidea.com, second wave feminism encourages women to recognize that they possess the power to achieve more than what the world deems suitable for them. It also promotes the idea that a woman’s life is not limited to staying home and motherhood, but rather, achievement and options for careers are all attainable goals. To illustrate how Jean Williams belongs to the second wave of feminism, we must begin with her youth. She lived a humble life in a small country parish,
As the interview progressed, we talked about school and certain unacknowledged facets of sexism were outlined. She talked about wanting to play cricket as a child and how that was viewed as unacceptable for girls. Instead, she was encouraged to join girl scouts. But, she was determined to participate in athletics and so she began playing basketball in defiance of her community. This was the first instance in which she showed that she would not let societal chains prevent her from doing what she wanted to do. Although her school was highly populated with women, the school never had a female principal. Men dominated most of the positions in school. A prefect was a student that demonstrated leadership abilities and was responsible for helping the teacher. Even this small leadership position was highly populated by men. Despite her excellent grades, she was never selected to serve in this position.
As she continued her education she noticed that opportunities were limited for women. The corporate world was not inviting. She completed high school and then she decided to attend a teachers college near her hometown. But her studies were cut short when she became pregnant at 20 years old. Despite being involved in a committed relationship with the father of her child, she never felt pressured to get married. She and her partner discussed marriage as an option, but they decided to wait. At this time it was even less socially accepted to become pregnant out of wedlock. However, most women were forced by their family to get married. But, my mother’s refusal to let the pressures of her community influence how she lives is another testament of her role as a 2nd wave feminist.
Despite the political achievement that was happening in
When she came to
Now as a mother, grandmother, wife, supervisor, aunt, and head of the household, my mother, Jean Williams, continues to define herself however she wants. She values other people as equals and always treats them accordingly. Her struggles have enabled her to appreciate the struggle of others. She serves as a second wave feminist in that she understands that sexism, racism, and any other form of oppression is not tolerable. She left her home in a distant land in pursuit of liberation for herself and her child. As the product of such a courageous woman, her life is a source of knowledge and inspiration. She continues to encourage me to delve into whatever it is that interest me. I am a firm believer in the power of self-determination. William Ernest Henley wrote in Invictus, “It matters not how straight the gait how charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” This excerpt encourages the individual to press on despite obstacles. I firmly believe that if there are more women like Jean Williams, as I believe there are, than the future of feminism is very fruitful.
“Feminism just has a negative connation.” Pam Howell is a single parent, white female in her mid 40s. She did not want to tell me her real age so I did not intrude. She has conservative beliefs along with a blend of liberal views as well. She is in the upper-middle class in regards to her economic status, but she does not boast about it all. Feminist have come a long way in their journey for equality, and it has impacted people of all ethnicities and races differently. I believe Pam is the right candidate to interview because she is a white female in her mid 40s, and I felt I would get the best results if I interviewed someone completely different from me. While interviewing Pam I learned that not all things are as they seem. When listening to her personal accounts and discrimination I understand that true equality will never be achieved. The oppression of women has climaxed; however women will always be second to men due to the preconception of male dominance that has been accepted since the beginning of time.
The beginning of the interview consisted of simple questions where I tried to get to know Pam, her views, and beliefs. The first question I asked was what her definition of feminism was? She responded, “A woman trying to do all the things a man does. A woman thinks that they are equal to men in every way.” Evidently she feels that feminism is an activist group that further complicates things for women. When I mentioned the word “Feminism” she paused for a bit to figure out how she would respond to a question like that. I later asked about her experiences of discrimination. She stated she felt discrimination many times, but one time stood out more than any other. She was subjected by her boss at a convention to pose a model for a product, but she refused. She felt it was a sexist act, and that her boss wanted to put her on display for his own benefit. This is common in the workplace, but she assured me that discrimination towards her and other women have diminished over the years as the laws have gotten stricter. I later explained the concept of backlash to Pam and asked if she ever experienced it. She responded that most of the incidents I am asking about have occurred in the workplace. One particular incident she described to me displayed a true injustice. After getting better reviews than most males in her company, they were still getting paid more. After she brought this issue up with management they reduced her salary, and in response to this she “raised hell” until they fixed the issue. Because Pam is a woman, management felt it would be easier to slight her because she would not have any other recourse; however, Pam mustered enough courage to get what was rightfully hers.
After explaining her incident I asked Pam if feminism still exist. She said yes, and it always will because men and women are different. She then added men and women are not equal in all accounts. There are some things women can do that men cannot, and there are some things women can do that men cannot do. She emphasized physical activity as being the main reason for this. Pam felt she also lost a sense of identity when she started working and taking care of the kids. She stated that she had a husband who thought she could not live without him. Essentially, her husband thought she was dependent on him, which infuriated her because she was the breadwinner. Finally, she had incentive to breakaway on her own. In respect to the current political realm, I asked her about how or if this election will have a positive impact of feminism. She vehemently disagreed in that she said Hillary is a negative figure, and she will only hurt the feminists’ cause. Pam is going off the notion of Hillary’s personality that has been exposed in the media. Hillary is thought to be a selfish and conniving woman, thus it is apparent she will not stand for what feminists what to portray as their image. I then touched on a controversial topic, abortion.
I first asked if she was pro-choice or pro-life. She replied that she was pro-life but under certain circumstances such as rape. Then I asked if this stance determines if you are a feminist. She said it does not but if you choose to then do it early or not at all. The next topic we discussed was race and how it affects views about feminism. She implied that it depends on the individual. Some people may or may not feel pressured about race. She also stated that being a white female over 40 gives her less of an opportunity in corporate
Feminism has been evolving throughout history. After discussing the three waves, she stated that more and more women are getting opportunities to pursue their goals and dreams. She augmented the fact that the discrimination she experienced in the 80s would not occur today because of the stringent rules that have been applied in favor or women. Equality is being achieved in small doses, but it is clear that more work needs to be done in this regard. We discussed about how her impediments have changed or shaped her as person. She seemed quite proud of herself at this point stating that she become stronger through each experience. Looking back on her earlier work experiences, she stated that she became a fighter and stronger because of the discrimination. Pam’s strength is accentuated in her independence. Her independence exudes qualities of the new “woman” because she is self-reliant and self-sufficient. We then conversed about privilege. I explained Peggy McIntosh’s concept of the “Invisible Knapsack.” She agreed with me stating that there is unacknowledged privilege because it is natural in the world. She then added that being a white female has made it easier to get opportunities, but she did not slight herself because she worked hard. She implied that there is not much we can do about unacknowledged privilege because it is so prevalent in society, and it always will be. In a sense you cannot worry about everyone who does not have everything you have. Finally, we discussed sexual double binding. She said it was prevalent growing up. Pam has two brothers, and the rules were completely different for three siblings. She also stated that her brothers could date earlier and, they had later curfews. She also could not wear makeup until she reached her later teenage years. This proved Jennifer Baumgardner’s and Amy Richard’s concept true. There is an unwritten rule that women are supposed to dress, talk, and ultimately act differently than men. Again, this is a preconceived notion that has been accepted and never will change because it has stood the test of time.
American is a changing nation. Every minority group, especially women will see that equality comes in small doses. The pursuit of equality entails that minority groups can strive for it, but it may or may not be achieved. All good things take time, but nothing lasts forever. The only way for women to achieve and maintain success is to keep fighting because maximum equality will never be reached, because of accepted believes that stem since the beginning of time; therefore, men and women will never truly be equal, but the false aura of equality makes the public believe that all men and women were “truly” created equally.
I hate a lot of things. I know, it’s not a quality to flaunt nor is it a quality I’m particularly proud of. One thing I hate is when people personalize their problems. What I mean is that I hate it when people disregard your problems because compared to their problems, you should be thankful that you have such a miniscule issue—besides, their life is so much harder. This being said, I feel like the biggest hypocrite as I’m sitting here waiting for my co-worker Inhee, a thirty-one year old married Korean girl with no kids. I feel like an idiot because I’m doing that which I hate the most, personalizing this before I even get to know her. So—I’m supposed to interview her about women and her experience but—to me, first generation Korean-American girls have it the worst. To be honest, I felt like any of my friends would have more interesting things to say than Inhee would, simply because Korean-American girls my age experience a much different type of sexist oppression than most white girls my age can relate to. What I found after talking with Inhee, was as surprising as it was hopeful; even though she denied the label feminist, her views were inherently liberal and her opinions about controversial issues were astonishingly against the typical Korean traditional ways.
Inhee seems like a typical Korean woman—fresh-faced, quiet, very friendly, very generous, thoughtful, and not one to rebel against authority or tradition. The surprising thing is that she came to America four years ago, got married to her boyfriend of ten years, at thirty-one she doesn’t want kids, and still doesn’t want a formal wedding. I know there seems to be nothing wrong with that, but she told me that all these things made her an enigma to Korean society. She explained, “Typically…a twenty five year old woman should be married and should have at least one child…or at least want all those things.” A continuous struggle she faces whenever she speaks with her parents, is the judgment they lay on her for not desiring an expansion of the family. “They think it’s really weird that I don’t want to continue the family line,” she says. She says that they don’t understand the fact that a woman isn’t just an empty shell that centers around a family and that she never thought kids were appropriate for her. As she was talking, it became more and more apparent to me that the familial unit was of the utmost importance in Korean culture. She says her mother has the hardest time understanding why she doesn’t want children. After struggling to find the right reasons, she says her reason is because she is too selfish and that she’s afraid of being a bad mother. I don’t think she realized that she wasn’t selfish at all and quite the contrary. She defined herself outside of the social and cultural confinements of gender and that seemed much like the second wave feminists or the liberal feminists, but she simply shrugged it off.
It was very obvious that she did not have a typical marriage. She dated her current husband for ten years, and wasn’t even married before she moved here. This seemed particularly terrifying—leaving your entire family to another country seems outrageous to me—but she assures me that unlike most Korean hers was for companionship and love. She explained to me that in
I wondered why Koreans and Korean-Americans substantially more concerned about their looks than in American society? I had my theories pertaining to this question, I figured maybe the ratio of men to women were at one point substantially lower on the latter so that the women became increasingly more competitive but Inhee had no clue as to what I was talking about. Inhee explained to me that the pressure to be physically perfect is much different amongst Korean women as opposed to Korean-American women in the states. “In America, the competition is everywhere, girls eye and size you up and down—especially in your (my) age group, since there are not many Korean-American girls here (in America),” In Korea, she said it’s less of a competitive thing more than the aim to be more “American” looking. I’m a little confused at this statement and instead of the ratio of men to women, Inhee seems to blame
Not everything about Korean culture was disheartening and nothing made me realize that more than Inhee’s personal views and experiences. When we began to talk about materialism in
I sat back in my chair—amazed. I ask her how someone whose parents didn’t let her watch a movie until college—was so liberal about a mild form of prostitution. She said her openness to these things were due to the fact that she had been fortunate to have removed herself from these pressures. Growing up as a girl made her realize that if she ever had a child, she wouldn’t put so many restrictions on her children because of their sex. One very valid point that she brought up was that when her parents restricted her from watching movies at home, it simply made her want to watch them even more. Later on in life, even when it came to matters of the opposite sex, her parents refusal to acknowledge these issues or talk about them openly simply made her want to do those things which she was forbade from. She said that much of the sexual double-bind that Korean girls face in society is due to the fact that their parents made sex seem dirty by leaving the issue unaddressed and highly offensive. Even now, as a thirty one year old woman, her parents still seem to have an invisible force as she told me she would probably have to have a formal wedding as to appease her parents.
I have the most trouble understanding why we suffer for the things that are out of our control—our gender, class, race, and sexual orientation. I’m sure if we had to make these choices ourselves, we would see a much different world than what we live in today. Sure, at one point or another, we’ve all thought that our lives were a little worse than everyone else’s, but what I felt most hypocritical about was that I assumed Inhee would have nothing to teach me and that I would hear the underlying voice of my parents through her. This is where I think most people fail—not just women, feminists, or just men—but people fail when they dilute themselves into thinking there is nothing else to be heard or said. I don’t know whether I can be as defiant as Inhee was to the life her parents idealized for her, but at the least, I’m fortunate to be living in a generation where I can reverse the effects of narcism, sexism, and materialism. I didn’t see it at first, but after talking with Inhee, it came to me that things were progressing. The fact that a slightly older woman could be such an anomaly to Korean tradition made me realize that this secret torch, one which gave me permission to stand against the norms, was passed down to my generation. Much like Kathie Sarachild’s article about “Consciousness Raising,” talking with Inhee made me realize that women need to continue talking and listening to one another or else we won’t know where to pick off where the others had left us with. In the end, Inhee deviation from typical Korean society made me realize that my generation’s situation isn’t the worst and that if so much progress is noticeable in comparison to my generation, a lot can be done in the short time I have.
Amber Alexander
WMST 10:10 MWF
Understanding the Words of Wisdom
When we were assigned this project, I started thinking about who I was going to interview. I didn’t think anyone in my family was feminist, I could not think of anyone starting pronoun debates at Thanksgiving or advocating women’s rights at Christmas. However, I was wrong; feminism isn’t that black and white. And how can I prejudge my family without even asking their opinion on feminism. So I decided to interview the female who means the most to me, my aunt Julie Annette Collins. I use the term “aunt” in biological terms, but she is more of a mother to me. Raising six children, two not even her own; she is the strongest woman I know. Now I want to delve into her background and see where her strength came from.
Julie was born on April 22, 1963 in
One thing Julie hated was how girls had to dress so traditional and conservative. This is one thing I could sort of relate to with her. Parents are always trying to get girls to cover up and wear certain clothes, but my experience was nowhere near how serious as it was in the 60s and 70s for my aunt. Females had to wear long white gloves and hats to church. Everything was about etiquette; there was no “casual” dress. All clothes had to be a certain length, absolutely nothing revealing. Julie said her and her friends had to force their parents to let them wear bikinis or halter tops. My favorite comment during the whole interview was that Julie had to sneak out with her Dr. Scholl’s sandals if she wanted to wear them! Women weren’t even allowed to show their feet. Another example my aunt gave us about everything being old fashioned was that women were even restricted on what means of protection they were allowed to use during their menstrual period. Women were certainly not allowed to use tampons or pads that stuck to their underwear. They were only allowed to wear sanitary pad belts. They were big, thick belts women had to wear during their period and could only change the pad portion when necessary; they could never just wear the pad itself. This completely shocked me. I had never dreamed women could or couldn’t use certain sanitary means of protection during their periods. This just shows that women were controlled and oppressed in almost every way possible.
Back then, women were completely dependent on men. Moms relied on dads for income. Julie said that if a woman was divorced, “it was like they were abandoned. The only thing they could do was hope to get alimony. They couldn’t work because they didn’t have any job skills. It was pushed for women that college is not important, they just need to focus on getting married.” Women weren’t taught skills needed for work, they were only taught how to cook, clean, and take care of children. Today it is basically accepted for everyone to go to college. College is just taught to us to be the next step after high school. In my family, there is no question about not going to college or any other option; you are just simply expected to go. Me being a person so passionate and driven about my career and field of study, I cannot imagine just sitting here waiting for a guy to come along and marry me. Not having anything to look forward to except having kids and cleaning for the rest of my life is just scary and tragic to me.
Julie comments on how remarkable it is that it is now more acceptable to leave kids at home and go to work. This was never a possibility back when she was growing up, a woman would be terrified to even suggest such a thing. An observation my aunt made was that now women have to fight to stay at home. Many families do not have the luxury to not have both parents working to support the family. Julie is a brilliant woman, outstanding with computers and worked for many years. She is now thankful to have been able to stay at home and take care of her kids, which is a full-time job in itself. However she says she is dependent on her husband to bring in the money to support the family. Thankfully she does have the job skills to go back to work if necessary but wouldn’t trade staying at home with her family for anything. Continuing on the conversation about women having jobs, I asked my aunt what she thought about women being characterized by their sexuality and how that affected them succeeding in the business world. My aunt strongly believes that women should never be thought to be objects, especially sex objects. Men use these terms and ways of categorizing women to have control over women. My aunt says it is a huge step that we are now we are trying to see women for their brains, not their sexuality. However, Julie says we are still far from it because women get better jobs if they’re “pretty”. I couldn’t agree more with this statement. Being a broadcast news major, appearance is a large portion of it because it is mainly about being on screen. A current senior in Grady I have worked with is passionate about doing TV news, but is changing her major to radio because she doesn’t believe she will be able to make it anywhere in the television industry without being “pretty”.
Julie grew up when women’s rights were just taking off. She remembers marches for women’s rights and bra burnings. She remembers talks of the Feminist Mystique, some women saw it revolutionary while some women saw it as scandalous. I was very interested about a television show my aunt use to watch called ‘Maude’. It was a show on air from 1972-1979. My aunt said it was a real controversy at the time. She described it as a spin-off of the show ‘All in the Family’. “It talked about things that were simply not talked about in that day in age. It was the first show where a female had an abortion. Things like that were simply just not talked about then”, Julie speculated. We have certainly come a long way in that aspect because there is nothing people won’t talk about or put on television.
Ever since I was little, I can remember my aunt giving my sister and I talks about men and never really understood them until I was older. She would tell us to never trust or rely on men. That they won’t provide for you and we need to have something to fall back on. She would tell us to be smart and as strong as men everyday and to believe in ourselves, no one is better than you and there is nothing only a man can do. The most important thing is to get an education. She said that women need to look out for themselves so they don’t get “screwed” by men. Taking this class I have been able to interpret these words of wisdom in a new way. She gave us this advice to protect us, because she has seen what happens to women who do not look out for themselves. She has seen the dangers of the traditional male dominant way of thinking. Julie does not believe in a gender-free world, nor do I. We are working to change men’s idea of women and for men respect them, but that must start with women learning to respect themselves and to change their own idea of women first. We cannot let anything stand in our way of achieving anything we want, especially men! I believe we don’t talk about women’s rights as much as we use to or as much as we should. I would never have thought my aunt to be a feminist or that her words of wisdom were due to her understanding on the oppression of women without taking this class. This in itself scares me that there needs to be a serious increase in consciousness raising or the women of generations to come will not carry on this legacy many women sacrificed for. In the words of George Santayana, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it!”
